A big ‘Thank You’ to Angie Keibel of Keibel Legal Services for coming in to speak to the guys at the
meeting on May 13th. You can find a link to Angie’s FB page on the Man Up profile.
It was a great presentation and Angie ended up sticking around and answering a ton of questions. We’re
very appreciative of the time.
There were a few highlights:
There is no question that family law is one of the most stressful areas of law. This is particularly so in the past few years where the law and procedures are changing regularly.
One of the biggest changes is to the concept of family property. Prior to January 1, 2021, an unmarried couple who separated could not make a claim under the legislation for a fair division of family property. Now, so long as a couple meets the test to be considered Adult Interdependent Partners, they have the same ability to claim for a fair division of property.
The next change is to the language of family law. In the past, we used terms like custody, and parental rights. However, the legislation and the case law have been clear that these terms are now outdated. So, what are your rights as a parent? It’s simple, you don’t have any. Parents have absolutely zero rights over their children. Parents have responsibilities TO their children. It is the children who have the rights.
In Alberta and in Canada, the legal framework has shifted to emphasize the responsibilities of parents rather than their rights over their children. This approach reflects a child-centered perspective that prioritizes the rights and best interests of children in family law matters.
Parents are entrusted with responsibilities to provide for the welfare and development of their children, ensuring their needs are met and their rights protected.
One of the major issues when it comes to Family Law – child support is inextricably tied to parenting time.
This is problematic, because there is always an undercurrent in parenting time applications of what will happen with the child support if parenting time changes. This undercurrent is a big reason why parenting time is so often fought about in court. We are all pretending that money has nothing to do with the best interest of the kids.
By tying child support to parenting time, the law does not encourage parents to work together for the best interests of the kids, but rather it encourages them to amplify and focus on the other parent’s flaws.
If you could take one lesson from today, here is what I hope you take away. Your child benefits from having two healthy and engaged parents. This means that you should be doing everything you can to ensure that you are healthy yourself and that the mother of your children is healthy as well. Do not get caught in the trap that the law has set for you in terms of tying child support to parenting time, and instead focus on how can I be the best parent for my kids, and ensure mom is the best parent that she can be.
Here are a couple of tips for working with your lawyer that will save you some money:
- Organize your thoughts. Every time a client emails or calls, they get a bill. I have one client who will email me every day for a week and then get upset when they see my invoice. While it is tempting to want to check in with your lawyer or ask questions, try to organize your thoughts and send one email rather than seven. Also, be mindful of the length of your emails. Try to condense your questions into one page. We are very busy people and it is hard to provide a thorough response when the email from the client is long and convoluted.
- Organize your paperwork. Most lawyers are moving to paperless systems. Learn how to use pdf’s, how to download bank statements, and keep your lawyer updated electronically. When I have to chase down financial disclosure or when I am missing key documents, it makes it really difficult for me to do my job efficiently.
- Trust your lawyer. My Dad is a mechanic and works on my car for me. When he tells me I need to change my brakes, I don’t ask him how he knows that or what brand of brakes he is planning to use. I don’t do my own research and tell him about this article I read about changing brakes and how he can probably do it better. I trust that he has the experience and knowledge to know when I need to change my brakes and what is the best brand to use. Similarly, when I give my opinion on the best strategy, my opinion is based on my experience and my education. Beware of well meaning friends who tell you stories about their own experiences. On one hand, their story may omit important details so that they look better in your eyes. On the other hand, the law and procedure has changed significantly in the past few years. In other words, either trust your lawyer or find yourself another one.
- Work with the assistant. Whenever possible, work directly with the paralegal or legal assistant. Their hourly rate is much lower than your lawyer’s rate and they may not even charge you at all.
It is tempting to want to represent yourself in family law and it is possible to do that. If you want to try that route, there are legal coaching services available. For example, McKenzie Legal Services is run by a paralegal with extensive experience in family law. They can help you with your paperwork and with navigating the filing procedures. They cannot provide legal advice or represent you in court, but they can help you get your documents completed and filed, and they can help you produce your financial disclosure.
If you decide to represent yourself, just remember that the lawyer on the other side is still a person. I cannot tell you about the abuse and vitriol I have experienced from self-reps. On the other hand, if a self-rep asks me about procedure or is reasonable with me, I am more than happy to help them out. In fact, I am obligated to help them as I am an officer of the court. In other words, I am not the enemy.
